I found a lump. I heard that it could change in size or even disappear over the course of a regular hormonal cycle, so i waited. It didn’t go away. I had just purchased brand new health insurance with a high deductible. I am worried that my premiums will go up if I get red-flagged as a potential cancer case. Worse yet, they could somehow decide I was hiding a pre-existing condition (I wasn’t) and drop me. Perhaps there was some minor error in my application that they could use as an excuse. I know that reform is supposed to address this kind of thing, but many of the changes don’t take effect for a few years. I don’t think I am being paranoid, but I do admit to being a little paralyzed. I was afraid to move one way or the other.
I finally decided to have thermography. I even paid in cash so as not to leave any trail for insurance. I got some pictures taken that map my chest according to temperature. The results were a 4 on a risk scale of 1-5. I need more follow-up. As if like clockwork, I have extra sensitivity on the suspect side over the past couple days. Today I made a follow up appointment with the Dr. whose office did the imaging. The tally is up to about $500 now, all out of pocket. Not that it would be covered if I did submit it. These are considered preventative procedures and my deductible is over $2500 anyhow. I was lucky to squeeze in an appointment for this week due to a cancellation. I can’t imagine waiting another two or three weeks. I don’t think about it every second, but it is always in the background. I admit it: I am scared.
Probably the next step is more diagnostics. I start to wonder how much a mammogram costs and then I stop myself. I realize two things. 1) it is easier to worry about the money than it is to worry about the consequences of cancer. 2) There is no sense in worrying two or three steps ahead. I have to just take the next step and rest. The problem may end there. If it doesn’t I am only building fear by worrying.
Fear is debilitating and I am surprised to observe my behavior in this situation. In my head, know certain things rationally that I would remind a friend of if she were in my shoes. But the fear and vulnerability have a sort of “freezing” effect. I may start to act, but I am easily spooked. For instance, I called a women’s health center that does breast exams. The receptionist was curt and only there to make the appointments. Any questions were certainly not her job. I realized that I was feeling so vulnerable and in uncharted territory, that I needed a little hand-holding. When she put me on hold, I hung up. Later, I called the other doctor; a much more expensive choice, but I’d rather have some comprehensive help and be sure I’ve covered my bases.
I heard some places like Singapore and Argentina have very advanced imaging and diagnostic technologies. I can see how someone like myself would choose to go there and get a full body scan and work up. Even if it had to go on the credit card, it would be worth it in the saved insurance premiums. It makes me mad to pay for insurance that doesn’t cover anything useful until you are very sick. Then you are labeled a sick person and must pay whatever they want, because no one else will take you. Why don’t I get a more traditional plan, with a lower deductible? I can’t afford it, first of all. Second, they only cover traditional western medicine, which has its place, but was not useful at all in my dealing with metabolic issues as I have written in my previous posts. Finally, they just use it to track how sick you are getting, like Hansel in the cage, getting fattened up for the witch’s dinner. I suppose I might have a different perspective if I had always had health insurance supplied by an employer. That, however, is a fragile perspective for anyone to maintain these days. (Yes, I do feel better after a little rant. It temporarily eases some of the scared-ness. And if you have been reading along with me and wondered why it’s been a while since I posted and then posted twice in one day, its because I have had a lot on my mind.)
About the Author...
Audrey's first love is massage. She is currently a student of energy work but is always up for a new challenge on "earth school." Audrey works part-time in the food and wine industry and is in the process of re-evaluating her relationship to food. She strives, above all, to be authentic as she finds her own way to health.
May 28th, 2010 at 6:48 am
Dear Audrey,
Stop being afraid, & do your research. Iodine therapy is highly recommended, as it detoxes sick breasts. It is a trace mineral, and that means you only need it in trace amounts. Iodine in adequate doses, stops and reverses this stage of the cancer process by causing the natural death of abnormal cells (apoptosis).
Do not fear the iodine. There is a simple safe method.
Paint the bottom of both feet at bedtime (about 4 drops of Lugol’s to each foot). The Iodine will absorb into the skin and body will only absorb as much as it needs, leaving the rest in the skin. Do this nightly until the feet still show a stain in the AM. Reduce the amount used when the feet are still stained. This is referred to in many old medical textbooks.
Pao D’Arco Tea also has been found to help fight cancer cells, too.
Castor Oil packs on the breast also greatly reduce cancer cells.
Breast cancers tend to be one of the slowest-growing cancers in the body due to the low blood supply (they take about 20-30 years to develop). So it is often better to watch lumps for a while rather than biopsy them, and risk spreading the cells if they are malignant.
All the best.
May 30th, 2010 at 10:50 am
Anita, Thanks for the shove in the right direction. ;) I had a follow-up. The Consulting Dr. (an alternative practitioner) was recommending iodine as well as daily manual lymph drainage (gentle, directed self-massage in the shower, essentially). I will be following that protocol, as well as addressing the hormonal issues. No invasive biopsies in the plans so far. Though I have made a lot of headway since my first post over 18 months ago, my adrenals are still using up the raw materials needed to balance the rest of the hormone system downstream. So estrogen dominance remains a set-up for poor breast health. Once it became manifest, I admit, I was scared. I didn’t know where to start researching and was afraid to feed the fear. in the short term. Now I am in a better position to launch the learning process.
Jun 2nd, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Audrey,
Through an annual exam and self massage, I discovered both ovarian cysts and fibrocystic breasts. In the last 2 years I’ve learned so much about my body, my aches, diet, natural remedies, etc. I’ve done a combination of things that are gradually and naturally healing my body. It’s taken me a while because I’m still learning. I just learned about Iodine therapy from Anita’s post above. My life has improved tremendously by learning about the several therapies.
I first learned about the chakras and energy blockages. I learned how I had a creative blockage that one of the causes for my ovarian cysts was that I was not paying much attention to my needs of being creative. In addition to giving birth to my lovely-creations website ,I had reiki done on me and learned that I need to ground every morning to charge my body with enough energy for the day. I meditate about 10-15 minutes to. I’ve recently started fasting, by doing a 1-3 day juice fast. The process that your body goes through during those days is amazing. What really caught my attention was how the body will eat or dissolve abnormal cells, tumors, etc, while fasting. Which led me to evaluating my diet, I learned that estrogen feeds tumors and cysts, so I needed to change my diet. Since everything everthing I was eating was contributing to my high estrogen levels in my body, I had to start cutting down on meats and milk products. I started to eat more (dry) salads and drank more water to help flush my body of toxins. Another thing contributing to my high estrogen levels was due to constipation. I so imagine my body trying to get rid of estrogen, but since my stool would sit there for a while, this gave time for the estrogen to be reobsorbed back into my body. It was years of going through this cycle that eventually led to my cysts. I recently found a lump on my right breast. I’ve been reading about the healing properties of castor oil. I’ve place a bandage with oil over the lump and after 1 day I’m proud to say it is much less painful and it’s hardness is diminishing. I’ll let you know how long it took to get rid of it completely.
Jun 2nd, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Thank you for sharing your journey!
Jun 7th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Irma, the amount you have learned in two years is amazing! You seem to have established a wonderful communication with your body. When I was unable to physically do massage for 5 years, I became a student of energy work. I can attest that knowledge of say, the connection between the fibroids and a creative blockage is one thing. Incorporating that knowledge into a healing relationship with one’s body is quite another. I have been been exposed to numerous traditions and techniques, but have yet to establish my own daily practice. It is truly an opportunity, and a particular challenge, for me. Seems like now is an important time to get a handle on it! As far as the Castor Oil packs, I am a neophyte. I am, however, scheduled to spend some time at Virginia Beach, home of the Cayce Reilly School and the Heritage store. I will be sure to get some castor oil supplies and some expert advice.
Jun 8th, 2010 at 1:57 am
Wow, Irma & Audrey,
It seems Castor Oil helps when you’re changing what you’re eating, & deals with the bodily changes.
This is very interesting- http://www.art-health.com/pdfs/castor_oil_pack.pdf
I’m going to start castor oil treatment for a few things in my family.
Jun 23rd, 2010 at 10:58 pm
I too have a breast lump (27 years old) I’ve had it for 4 years now. I would love to hear all you have learned in this journey. Hugs and Healing,
Christin
Jun 28th, 2010 at 11:04 am
I too have breast cancer. After reading “Your Health at Risk” byToni Jeffreys PhD. I decided to have only non toxic therapies. There are so very many available! I am doing, among other things like taking Essiac Tea, Prof. Johanna Budwig’s Linseed oil and cottage cheese protocol. But although I have read extensively I hadn’t heard of [painting the soles of the feet with Lugol’s Solution. I will also try this. Thank you. Mary Connor